Brian Cantin » humor http://www.briancantin.com Computers, Music, Cycling, Politics and the general hum-drum of Life. Thu, 08 Jul 2010 19:36:45 +0000 en hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.3 Jet Powered Beer Cooler http://www.briancantin.com/2007/12/jet-powered-beer-cooler.html#utm_source=feed&utm_medium=feed&utm_campaign=feed http://www.briancantin.com/2007/12/jet-powered-beer-cooler.html#comments Fri, 07 Dec 2007 15:21:00 +0000 Brian http://www.briancantin.com/?p=218 As anyone who knows me can attest to – I like beer. Anyone who knows beer, knows that like revenge, it is best served cold.

I came across one the best examples of overkill in a technical project that I’ve ever seen – the Jet Powered Beer Cooler.
I thought I’d share this, as it’s an interesting project (a home-made jet engine) and one of the craziest applications of jet technology I’ve ever heard of.

]]> http://www.briancantin.com/2007/12/jet-powered-beer-cooler.html/feed 0 Out of Office Replies http://www.briancantin.com/2006/12/out-of-office-replies.html#utm_source=feed&utm_medium=feed&utm_campaign=feed http://www.briancantin.com/2006/12/out-of-office-replies.html#comments Fri, 08 Dec 2006 19:09:00 +0000 Brian http://www.briancantin.com/?p=189 1. I am currently out at a job interview and will reply to you if I fail to get the position.

2. You are receiving this automatic notification because I am out of the office. If I was in, chances are you wouldn’t have received anything at all.

3. I will be unable to delete all the unread, worthless emails you send me until I return from holiday on 4 April. Please be patient and your mail will be deleted in the order it was received.

4. Thank you for your email. Your credit card has been charged $5.99 for the first ten words and $1.99 for each additional word in your message.

5. The e-mail server is unable to verify your server connection and is unable to deliver this message. Please restart your computer and try sending again. (The beauty of this is that when you return, you can see how many in-duh-viduals did this over and over).

6. Thank you for your message, which has been added to a queuing system… You are currently in 352nd place, and can expect to receive a reply in approximately 19 weeks.

7. I’ve run away to join a different circus.

]]> http://www.briancantin.com/2006/12/out-of-office-replies.html/feed 0 A Strange Mental Exercise http://www.briancantin.com/2006/11/a-strange-mental-exercise.html#utm_source=feed&utm_medium=feed&utm_campaign=feed http://www.briancantin.com/2006/11/a-strange-mental-exercise.html#comments Fri, 17 Nov 2006 16:29:00 +0000 Brian http://www.briancantin.com/?p=174 Okay, I don’t pretend to understand how this works and I don’t want to spoil it for you by giving away what will happen – but try this little quiz and discover a very surprising result. I know I was totally flabbergasted by the results!

I came across this little brain teaser on www.mercola.com

]]> http://www.briancantin.com/2006/11/a-strange-mental-exercise.html/feed 0 Humor in Customer Service Scripts http://www.briancantin.com/2006/10/humor-in-customer-service-scripts.html#utm_source=feed&utm_medium=feed&utm_campaign=feed http://www.briancantin.com/2006/10/humor-in-customer-service-scripts.html#comments Fri, 27 Oct 2006 19:19:00 +0000 Brian http://www.briancantin.com/?p=166 I was just on the phone with Bell Canada regarding one of the phone lines at my work. However, it turns out that the line is actually provided by another company – which the Bell Customer Service person was nice enough to inform me.

The humorous part – right after determining (and informing me) that I did not in fact have any their services, she finished up with “Thank you for choosing Bell“.

Well, I found that funny.

]]> http://www.briancantin.com/2006/10/humor-in-customer-service-scripts.html/feed 0 So I Quit http://www.briancantin.com/2006/04/so-i-quit.html#utm_source=feed&utm_medium=feed&utm_campaign=feed http://www.briancantin.com/2006/04/so-i-quit.html#comments Fri, 21 Apr 2006 16:09:00 +0000 Brian http://www.briancantin.com/?p=139 I first read that smoking was bad. So I quit that.

I then read that drinking was bad. So I quit that.

Then, I read that sex was bad. So I just quit reading.

]]> http://www.briancantin.com/2006/04/so-i-quit.html/feed 0 Brotherly Blond http://www.briancantin.com/2006/03/brotherly-blond.html#utm_source=feed&utm_medium=feed&utm_campaign=feed http://www.briancantin.com/2006/03/brotherly-blond.html#comments Thu, 30 Mar 2006 20:53:00 +0000 Brian http://www.briancantin.com/?p=123 Brian says:
Two fish are in a tank. One says I’ll man the gun, you drive.
Craig says:
I don’t get that one.
Brian says:
Okay. Normally, you have fish… in a fish-tank. That’s what you expect. But, these fish are in an army-tank.
See?
Craig says:
ohhhhhhhhhhh

]]> http://www.briancantin.com/2006/03/brotherly-blond.html/feed 0 Bet With Caution http://www.briancantin.com/2006/03/bet-with-caution.html#utm_source=feed&utm_medium=feed&utm_campaign=feed http://www.briancantin.com/2006/03/bet-with-caution.html#comments Tue, 07 Mar 2006 03:49:00 +0000 Brian http://www.briancantin.com/?p=110 One day a drunk man told the bartender, “I’ll bet you $100
that I can bite my right eye.” The bartender grinned and
said, “Okay, you drunk.” The drunk pulled out his right fake
eye and bit it. After more drinks the drunk said, “I bet you
$200 I can bite my left eye.” The bartender knew it could not
be fake, so he said, “Okay.” The drunk pulled out his
dentures and bit his left eye. The bartender, by now was
really mad. After a few more drinks, the drunk said, “I’ll
bet you $500 that if you slide a shot glass down the bar, I
can hop on each stool and pee in it without getting a drop on
your bar.” The bartender knew he could not do it so he said
okay. The bartender slid the shot glass as fast as he could.
The drunk jumped on stools and peed all over the bar. The
bartender jumped up and screamed in joy because he won $500.
In the back he heard, a man yelling in frustration. He asked
the man why. The man replied, “That drunk fool bet me $1500
that he can pee on your bar and you would be happy about it!”

]]> http://www.briancantin.com/2006/03/bet-with-caution.html/feed 0 Poetry in Programming http://www.briancantin.com/2006/03/poetry-in-programming.html#utm_source=feed&utm_medium=feed&utm_campaign=feed http://www.briancantin.com/2006/03/poetry-in-programming.html#comments Mon, 06 Mar 2006 04:08:00 +0000 Brian http://www.briancantin.com/?p=108 While examining the documentation on a program I was writing in 2003, I found the following comment:

// Nov 4th/2003 :
// The idea was simple
// the implementation complex
// I’ve had so many errors
// I’m starting to vex

Looks like that was the date I gave it a rest… Just before the hard drive it was on crashed. Thankfully I’ve recently recovered that drive’s contents.

]]> http://www.briancantin.com/2006/03/poetry-in-programming.html/feed 0 It’s 10 O’Clock … Do you know where your Cow is? http://www.briancantin.com/2006/03/its-10-oclock-do-you-know-where-your-cow-is.html#utm_source=feed&utm_medium=feed&utm_campaign=feed http://www.briancantin.com/2006/03/its-10-oclock-do-you-know-where-your-cow-is.html#comments Sun, 05 Mar 2006 23:30:00 +0000 Brian http://www.briancantin.com/?p=106
There is a growing crisis in the dairy business: Cattle Terrorism! Alien freaks have been abducting innocent dairy cows. Read more about this serious problem at www.cowabduction.com.

I may have to make a tin-foil hat for my cat, soon.

]]> http://www.briancantin.com/2006/03/its-10-oclock-do-you-know-where-your-cow-is.html/feed 0 Fish Detergent http://www.briancantin.com/2006/02/fish-detergent.html#utm_source=feed&utm_medium=feed&utm_campaign=feed http://www.briancantin.com/2006/02/fish-detergent.html#comments Thu, 16 Feb 2006 17:35:00 +0000 Brian http://www.briancantin.com/?p=99 My Nokia cell phone has the nifty ability to use an adaptive/predictive writing system. Using it you can drastically save typing time on that tiny keypad. Sometimes the words it comes up with are very close to what you want, but a letter off. I was writing “dish detergent” and got “fish detergent” which gave me a little chuckle to picture what that might mean.

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