Then, on the fateful day a friend calls me and tells me that he’d heard it was cancelled. I looked online but there was no word… I called the local Rock station, The Bear and they filled me in – Trent was sick and cancelled the show. Refunds available at point of purchase.

Withought Reznor, NIN won’t work… For those who don’t know the band, they do an electronic industrial style of music, and Trent is the artist at the middle of it all composing, writing and performing the music. Sure, there’s other guys on tour and they’re great… But NIN would be still NIN without any of them. Trent’s the man in this case.

Sadly, due to his past heroine abuse I’m highly skeptical about it being just a sore throat that made him cancel. Bah. At least I get my money back, but that’s really not the point. NIN never comes to Ottawa, and it’s been six years since they last toured. With no plans to reschedule, this kinda blows. I’m tired of Montreal and Toronto getting all the big bands. What’s missing in Ottawa?

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For those who don’t know me personally, it’s always been a dream of mine to be running my own computer software company. I’ve developed quite a few applications already, and one of them is still floating around on the Internet after it’s initial release sometime in the ’90s.

So step one is taken care of. I had initially hoped to have the site created offline and ready to go (at least in a basic form) for today, however that wasn’t a realistic timeline. I’ll get it up and ready to go soon, though.

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I think this is a new feature for phones that is actually useful. It means that no matter where you are, if you’re stumped: “Google It!“. Anywhere. Anytime. Anything.
There’s no mention in the article whether it will be including the ability to use the Google/Yahoo maps applications with the GPS capability that most phones now include. Just think, enter an address and it tells you how to get there from where you are.

Of course, I do know that there already are devices that do this. I think the main advantage your phone would have over the dedicated devices is that this way the internet service does the major processing work and data storage chores. This relieves the manufacturer of needing to build a route finding program, map storage, updating of data, etc. Google’s already provided this infastructure.

I really do think that the IT future really is with wireless internet technology. There’s just so many things that can be done with an internet enabled wireless device, the possibilities are endless.

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Gearing up to the election, we’re going into six day weeks for a few weeks. This is fine by me, really since it’s the last few weeks on my contract. It will give me a nice extra buffer in pay, for sure.

Anyways, enough mundane for now.

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My attitude towards life has generally gotten better in the last while and optimism has finally entered my mental makeup. Occasionally though, I just can’t help but feel bitter and a little jaded at life. I have a habit of leaning towards the pessimistic side of things when this happens.

Thankfully, other people somehow manage to bring me back up again – usually when and where I least expect it. For example, earlier this morning I was casually speaking with a bicycle courier who asked me for a cigarette before he headed back out. We didn’t talk for more than a few minutes, but the conversation was friendly, pleasant and upbeat. With a pessimistic mindset it’s easy to forget that not everyone is out to get you and there are some nice people out there. It’s tempting to forget that we’re all part of a larger whole, a larger culture, and a bigger community than the one within our circle of friends.

We talked about New Year’s, his son, and riding a bicycle during the winter season in Ottawa. We compared the relative merits of the 10 speed’s thin wheels and light alloy frame with the sluggish shock-absorber equipped heavy mountain bikes. Hardly life-affirming subject matter, I know. It was just the general pleasantness of the conversation and how it occurred out of the blue that struck me.

Yes, sometimes my jaded shell gets cracked by something so simple.

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borderline

Which Personality Disorder Do You Have?
brought to you by Quizilla

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I managed to get a little more unpacking and organizing done over the holidays. My home recording studio is slowly taking shape. I finally got my main guitar cleaned and restrung as well as some minor repair work done to the tuning machines.

I got some things sorted and cleaned as well as dusting nearly everything in the room. I think I’m going to have to pick up some more shelves for books, though. Next stop – organizing my closet. I’m scared. If I disapear from posting for a while, you can safely assume that my room actually ate me.

So, what’s my point? I’m starting the year with a bit of a fresh start. Out with some of the old crap I’ve been carrying around with me for nearly a decade. It’s revitalizing and rejuvinating.

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The next four days I will be taking to unpack a bit more. I’m still living surrounded by boxes from the move in late October! I’ve managed to clear out a box a week, and the end of it is so near I’m going to make a push to finish. After I’ve bought some book shelves, that is.

I’m also going to be reconfiguring my PC for better audio processing so I can make a new demo disc. The last full demo was “Wretched” was made when I was 20 and seven years have now past. As a matter of curiosity the name of the album was in fact “Wretched” which was the name of the title track. It is also a pretty good description, from my perfectionist’s viewpoint – but that’s relatively subjective since it got many more yay’s than nay’s.

If I have time, I’m working on resurrecting Euphoria Cyberware. I’ve registered the domain and placed an order for some real hosting, finally. I believe that should all be up and running by the middle of Janurary, 2006.

Also – it’s New Years this weekend and I actually have the eve and the day after off of work, so I intend to drown 2005 out with some bubbly!

Until I’m back, have a happy and safe holiday!

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One possible take on this statement is that it was a cautionary statement.

By writing down “If you read, you will judge” he was mentally protecting his writings. It provides a disclaimer of sorts. Any opinion you express on the writings are your own judgment, therefore he could feel free to write whatever he wanted. If you had a problem with what you read, then he could easily rely on the disclaimer (at least internally) to discount your opinion as judgment of him – something which you would have no valid claim to do.

Anyone who has ever tried to start a journal will know that it can be difficult at first to put your thoughts down openly – someone else might see them! And if they read them it will be from their own perspective – not yours, and they will potentially pass judgement on your thoughts and feelings. It’s enough to cause some to drop the task out of frustration. Out of fear they can only be superficial in their journals and the positives of writing are lost.

Perhaps this statement was Cobain’s way of overcoming that fear of personal judgement.

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The quote that makes the title of this article is simplicity and genius in itself. It’s what Cobain appeared to be striving for in his art – ambiguity. Ironically, it was the misinterpretation of his ambiguous words and lyrics that caused him much of his fight with the popular media.

With this series of articles I intend to explore a few of the possible meanings of this simple statement.

(part 1)

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